Project '3 x 10' - Day 8: Non-sense.

From far away, even the Earth and the sky seem to meet at a single point, but they don't. We're way too ignorant about the far-fetched, and hope is the only thing we can rely on.
But I'm scared of the future, of the unexpected, of the unpredictable. I've hooked up so many people on hope, saying time will make things right, will heal all those hideous wounds, will bring the best for you in the end. But what if nothing turns out the way we want it to be? What if their lives turn into shit? I'll be the one guilty. I'll be the one who elevated their hopes way too high. What if they actually had to take initiative, do something, anything, to put things in order? I'll be the one who distracted them off their paths that they were actually supposed to be on. I'm confused. And there's noting I can do about it.
Maybe it's all about belief. Belief in the fact that God has plans for us. Plans that our minds cannot comprehend. Plans that are inescapable. Belief in the fact that there are some reasons behind everything that happens, and we just have to accept them without questioning. Belief in the fact that whatever happens, happens for good.
I believe that our thoughts can eventually influence the out comings. That everything we see, we perceive, has a consciousness. And that we constantly interact and influence each other, even though we might not know about it. If we concentrate all our belief on something, all these 'conscious' things might agree with us and actually help us. And we can actually change the direction things will head on; turning them the way we want them to go on. Mystic forces. Cool stuff.
This does not make sense at all.

Word Count: 303.

Project '3 x 10'' - Day 7: Faayarwarks.

'Cause baby you're FAAAAAAYARWARKS!!!
OH DAYUM. Did she really!? O-o
Make 'em go WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...
Gorging down cups and cups of the strawberry flavored frozen yogurt was my favorite past-time. Except for skyping with thee bitchiest person you could ever think of, obviously. We would talk endlessly forever about the most random things on Earth. We would rant about how badly life sucks. We would gossip about every single living creature on the planet. We would discuss matters when every next step we took seemed crucial, and grave.
And putting it down all right now, I feel like I'm running out of adjectives. I feel like this needs to be perfect, in one way or another. I owe a lot to her, a-fuckin'-alot. I've been a confused person since ever. It's wonderful having a person who could actually understand, and make sense out of the most nonsensical and bizarre things for you. Who'll tell you exactly where you fall short, and where you rule out everybody else. Who would be far beyond the cliched image of a typical great friend every person seem to have in his/her mind.
For a whole year, this would be the only person I was eager to talk to every single day. Even though I really couldn't. I remember skyping with her all day long, along with munching on flavored yogurts, chips, strawberries, PB&Js, string cheese, oranges, and probably everything that was available to me at hand. I could, and I would, go on and on about how amazing she had been, and still is. But I know that I'm either going to exaggerate it too much. Or I'll be left confused with thinking about proper words to put it in, like always.
It's her birthday today. I believe in fate. I believe God had me through enough sufferings and he wanted me to see how the bright side of life feels like. And that is why I know her today. Qaneeta. Thank you. Thank you for just, everything.
I wish I had better words to put it in.

Project '3 x 10' - Day 6: Not-so-pleasures.

It's when your own loved ones let you down, breaching your every single ray of hope, of trust and belief you were left with.

It's when you're the focal point of uninvited criticism that you have to deal with every second of your life, turning your existence into a mere joke.

It's when you have to say goodbyes, not having a single clue where if your fates will ever converge again.

It's when you're helpless, and devastated. And you try to come up with any reason you could think of to justify the question: Why, I exist?

It's when you haven't had a single bite of cheesecake for over years what it seems like. 

It's when hope and staying strong are only delicate words out of a fictional story, and the fear of the unknown and unexpected crushes you slowly.

It's when you try to put your thoughts in words. But you're too exhausted of emotions and the suffering, that you just sit there, tongue tied.

It's when you're too far away to actually 'be there' for them. And you just rely on the mystic forces controlling the being, and pray, that everything will be alright. 

It's when you're way too disarrayed regarding your life, looking for that one single direction to head towards.

It's when you strive to bring a change, but people throw sticks and stones at you because they’re too ignorant.

It’s when you know that money can’t buy happiness, and still you wish your parents were filthy rich.

It’s when you take a bite of mint chocolate ice-cream, and realize how it was the worst idea mankind ever came up with.

It’s when you look back at life and wish you hadn't wasted your time on things and people who didn’t deserve it, at any cost.

It’s when you dip your biscuit in the tea for too long, and it just disappears. Leaving you with a half biscuit and whole disappointment.

It’s these not-so-pleasures in life, which blow everything worthwhile.

Word Count: 331.

Project '3 x 10' - Day 5: Pleasures.

It’s when you spray so much whipped cream in your mouth it won’t close at all.

It’s when you walk bare feet on a cold floor, making every pore of your body shiver pleasingly.

It’s when you smell a newly bought book, your consciousness making contact with the words inside.

It’s when you put your hand inside a bag of rice, and every single grain brushes against it as you retract it.

It’s when you succeed in making a goal for the first time in life, taking the soccer ball all across the field by yourself.

It’s when someone replies your text with a single smile, and it just makes your day brighter.

It’s when you listen to that very same song for the gazillionth time, every word of it as though new to you.

It’s when you laugh so hard for that one joke, ending up literally on the floor laughing.

It’s when you successfully manage to put a whole gol gappa inside your mouth without making a mess.

It’s when you finally get the right answer to a math problem that you’ve been trying to solve since god knows when.

It’s when you stand under sunlight forever on a frigid cold day, as rays of light bombard you and the warmth penetrates all across your skin down to each single cell.

It’s when someone thanks you for that little favor you did without even thinking about it once.

It’s when you get an unexpected call as soon as the clock strikes midnight on your birthday.

It's when it rains after a whole day of scorching heat, and you just let the miniature drops of heaven fall down and drench you till you're satisfied as you wish to be.

It’s those little pleasures in life, which make it all worthwhile.

Word Count: 301.

Project '3 x 10' - Day 4: Conundrum.

   It's the same thing, over, and over again. Circumnavigating around the same purpose, putting your existence to no use. Wasteful.
   Is this actually what we are here for? What is this all about? We come here, longing for a better future; which in our case is nothing more than a fine dinner, couple of clothes, better mileage cars and what not. We are put to a cat mouse race and are horded like animals. We cheat, lie, steal, hate, envy, fight, grudge; and in the end, everyone ends loosing something. Everything.
   Each one of us ends up at the same place. Don't we? The frightening darkness where past, present and future does not hold the slightest meaning. Where gravity crushes you with all its might, but pain, suffering and agony has no interpretation. And you descend downwards, day after day, layers and layers of Earth forcing you beneath, into an unimaginably heated up core of the planet. And you end up into sweltering material, like everybody else, fueling the kiln till you're supposed to do so.
   What is it then? The relations, these emotions, society, politics, morals, innovation? Are we really a part of a master plan? Every one of us carrying out our insignificant role, moving in the same direction as this plan approaches fulfillment. Maybe it isn't so dextrous as we imagine it to be. Maybe we are just mere coincidence, waiting to be extinct again. Waiting for the vastness of this Universe to be dead silent, pitch black & frigidly cruelly frigid again.
But then again, God does not play dice with the Universe.
Existence, is a conundrum.


 "Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the Universe shredded into mathematical equations. Science proclaims that we are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident'' - Dan Brown

Word Count: 307.

Project '3 x 10' - Day 3: H.O.P.E.

       I was awestruck. Obviously, I had never, ever, seen such a gargantuan edifice. Probably because I belonged to Pueblo.
       Walking into the Colorado Springs mall, my eyes tried to take in all the information at a glance, which was inadequate, nonetheless. Can't remember the name of the mall; it probably doesn't matter anyway, since there were a dozen more malls like the one I was standing in, for sure, sprawled all across the city. Eyes darting back and forth, I could see every single thing there, you just name it. I was new to U.S. Everything was different; rather sparkling, sleek, appealing.
      Winding across the labyrinth of innumerable shops, going through the awkward stepping-on-the-escalator moments, we entered a random shop selling some cool stuff. Stuff that I wasn't really interested in. But what caught my attention was this blonde girl peeping from behind a shelf. I was used to it; people looking at me with awe-inspiring gazes, wondering how on earth an alien like me ended up amongst them. It wasn't frustrating at all. I felt special. I remember wearing a shalwar kameez that day. I thought maybe she was interested in the peculiar clothing I had on.. But it was something else that she noted.
       She finally strided towards me. About 16, beautiful blonde hair. I was pretty sure she was Italian. Should've asked her when I could've. She initiated the converstaion. It was the second phrase that took me aback. Is she like, kidding me! must've been my mistake. I asked her again, I'm sorry what did you say your name is?
Hope.
Hope Scott.
That, my friend, is a really cool name. I said to myself.
We talked about the usual it's-so-awesome-to-be-an-exchange-student stuff. And then she asked me what she had been so tempted to ask from the beginning.
Are you Muslim?
Well, DUHH! Again, talking to myself.
I answered in affirmation. And then she narrated regarding how she was a Christian by birth, but she just converted to Islam a couple of moths back. I could see how happy, and hopeful, she was to see me. She found someone as alien as she was. She also introduced me to her friends. And then she started telling me about how her parents don't like this choice she made.
I felt it coming. Sort of. She asked me if I'd like to see her parents. How could I've said no. Her parents  seemed uninterested, or maybe disgusted. I have no idea.
I added her on Facebook the first thing after getting back home. She'd occasionally talk to me about her struggle she's going through. And it kindled a hope somewhere within me. After a couple of months, she changed her names to Fatima. I was deeply happy  ecstatic about it; the way she was sticking to her beliefs and paving way for a better life for herself, where she can live according to her own rules with no regrets, no blames.
I have no idea where is she? how is she? or what is she doing right now? She just disappeared off of Facebook one day. I did try to search for her. Didn't work. I just wish wherever she is, and however she is, she believes that she WILL get there one day.
It's all about hope after all. Isn't it?

Word Count: 554.

'3 x 10' - Day 2: Ehsaas-e-Jurm.

...Hamain itni bulandi se koi cheez vaazeh nazar nahin aati. Ham aasmaan se qareeb ho kar zameeni haqaiq se door ho jate hain. Ham apni apni ana or khwahishaat k ghoron par sawaar ho kar zabaan-o-qalam ko talwaar bana kar haath main pakar lete hain or phir sachaiyoon ko aesa taar taar karte hain k ikhlaqiyaat se ghasib lutairoon ko bhi maat de daalte hain...
                                                                                                -Hamid Mir.

I get the point. Everybody wants to be heard. One way or another, every person wants his/her opinions, ideas and emotions conveyed. And it’s absolutely OK with me. It’s the consequence of human existence, after all. We interact with each other, impacting the thoughts, beliefs and perspectives of people as we move on with the trail of our lives. Our minds perceive that impact and either condemn it, accept it, or alter the previously held perspectives. The end result: expression. We need others to acknowledge the effects the impact had on our minds. And again, that is all OK.

But then the picture gets ugly.

With this constant impulse to express yourself, people really don’t seem to care whether they’re saying the right thing or not. Whether their actions satisfy the moral limits set by the society. Whether their opinions uphold the esteem of people they’ll most likely impact. They just go on & on with stuff that’s nothing more than mere gibberish by that point.

With the media gaining power day after day and becoming a primary factor that influences people’s lives at every level, I’m becoming more assertive of the fact that not everybody should be entitled to express themselves at all times. People might not agree with me regarding this matter, but I’d rather search for truth myself than listen to hypocrites who twist, turn and exaggerate a simple fact in so many weird ways that it becomes hideously disgusting. Why not just lay it all out all there and let us decide who should be blamed?

Won’t this world be a lot better place if people knew what to say, when to say it, & how to say it. 

Word Count: 350.

'3 x 10' - Day 1:Of cheesecake & awesomeness.

For some people having cheesecake might be a matter of life and death. For me, it's way more than that.
Maybe its about the soothing feeling when the creamy heavens brush against your pallet. Or maybe about the relatively hard crust when it crunches in your mouth; making water pour from the insides. Or maybe about experiencing both the orgasmic feelings at the same time. And you just go missing in the amazement a single bite of such a wonderful entity could produce, for infinity, and beyond.
I faintly remember having it for the first time. Strawberries sophisticatedly lying around, making it look like a scene from a black & white movie; like some inferior beings praising the wholesomeness in front of them. Glimmering from the light above, the scene in front of me was no dream. Rather a dream come true. How come I never knew a thing like that ever even existed. The perfectness and flawlwssness pouring out from every single molecule of the its existence.
The feeling took some time to set in. Like the consciousness being carried through every single blood vessel to every single cell of my body. With that single bite, a whole new world of craziness and awesomeness welcomes you. And the next second, it's gone. Gone as the creamy delight slowly fades into nothingness. And then you look forward to your next chance to suffer the roller coaster of buttery emotions all over again. Knowing that with every individual attempt, the awesomeness is vanishing away. So you try with your all might to overcome the lust. But in the end, your urge succeeds.
The scene is still the same; minus the velvety , off course. And you tell yourself: Mayyyn! that was thee best one ever! Just like you did a gazillion times when you had it before.
Those little things in life mean alot, sometimes.
And by the way, that was all about just a cheesecake. Believe me.

Word Count: 327.

3 x 10.

It's hard being productive. Isn't it?
I have a habit of reviewing my whole day before I doze off. Things I did, things I shouldv'e done.Things I should care about , things that really don't matter. And well, some other things. And almost every single night, I end up at the same conclusion: You didn't do shit bro.
Life seems aimless at the moment. And with aimless-ness, comes monotonous. And finally dissatisfaction succeeds. With an upsurging urge to be motivated, I needed to find a way out.
So I finally came up with this idea: Project '3 x 10' For the next '3x10' days, I'll be writing about stuff I admire, stuff that inspires, stuff that matters & a lot more. The only rules are:
-I CANNOT miss a single day. It's all about commitment, afterall.
-The posts have to be of or more than 300 words long.
I hope these 30 days pay off well. After all,  It's OK to take baby steps. You'll get there in the end.
Believe me.